The Spelling Test
The N-word
20th June 2022
What happened in the 1990s was that racism occurred frequently when I was at a private primary school in Oxfordshire. Once I, as a Black girl, was asked with my white class and one Asian to spell the word ‘nigger’ and ‘niggers’. I remember everyone in the class looking at Black me before writing down the answers. They were checking for my reaction to the racism. I wasn’t angry like they thought I would be as a Black person. I knew it was a bad word but I didn’t know the history of it and why it was due to racism and would soon become a detriment to my Black Deaf mental health.
The word ‘nigger’ is the most hated and hateful word in the English language. This is ever since the 17th century, from the inception of the Atlantic Slave Trade, it [nigger] had been spoken and written in hatred, directed at the enslaved and their emancipated descendants as a demeaned and degraded people.
As the only Black Deaf girl in that private primary school I was immediately singled out. This didn’t help my Black Deaf mental health at all. I learnt how to deal with racism in that school which was to not challenge it as no one else would support Black me. I felt ugly and not worthy to receive an education which rich white people always had to their disposal due to racism.
